Friday, April 15, 2011

很久...


真的..過了很久很久啊..
久到我都忘了它的存在..
唉...
總覺得我一直在遺忘...
快樂的回憶
傷心的回憶
緊張的回憶
回憶的回憶....
而我當初的夢想呢?
隨風飄走了嗎?
還是它本來就像夢一樣的不存在過?
我曾經擁有這些嗎?
不知道呢...

從來不知道短短的一年可以改變那麼多東西
原來當時的我那麼的無憂無慮
在溫室裡的花朵啊..
被帶到陽光下曝曬才知道凡間是什麼樣子
而這才是室外的門邊呢~
它還沒經歷沙漠,高峰..
那時候的它,能夠熬過來嗎?
花啊,花啊~前途矇矓啊~~

怎樣的生活才算是真正的人生呢?
我敢肯定我從來沒活過人生
因為一直ㄧ來都是ㄧ個人哪..
什麼想法都是ㄧ個人在想
可以說從來沒有進來過我的精神世界過..
就號稱最親密的朋友姐妹都沒有過..
雖然聽過別人的世界,
貌似進到去過
但那不過是短暫的近駐
短的讓風一吹就走了....散了...
孤獨...寂寞...
我想世界上的人們都有這種感覺吧?
沒人理解的悲哀...
問我想哭嗎?
不想.
因為沒真正經歷過激情和失落
哭什麼呢?
一直ㄧ來都心止如水阿..
朋友嗎?
那是屬於別人的,雖然偶爾會來找我
但這個偶爾,我已經很感激了...
至少還記得有我這個人,證明這個世界還是有人需要我的...
誰然當他們心情恢復後就離我而去..
但至少我還可以讓別人開心,想到這個我就已經非常感激了

一個人逛街,一個人看電影,
一個人在餐廳裡吃飯,
一個人在房間裡看節目
一個人面對這房間裡的牆壁
這些一個人的事
對在我身邊年齡相仿的人是很不可思議的事
可是我都好習慣那些哦~
呵~我不是孤癖的人啊~
只是沒人需要我陪他們去做這些一個人不會做的事而已
只是沒人想過要理解我的世界
只是沒人需要我去深入理解他們的世界
只是沒人讓我覺得值得讓他深入我的世界
只是沒人讓我覺得值得深入他們的世界
只是沒人...
因為那需要責任和很深的牽絆
沒真心的話,會互相傷害的呢..

在這漂流的時間洪流中
我失去了初心,還弄丟了自己
連靈魂都不知去了哪了...
要怎嚜找回來呢?
身前是濃霧,身後是深崖
.....有誰記得我嗎?
記得的話要告訴我啊~
因為有一天我連我自己都遺忘
那時候世界就不會有我的存在了
遠方的你聽得到或感覺得到我的呼喚的話,
還請回答我...
天上或地上的
我祈禱著...



嘿....你在哪裡?

Sunday, December 26, 2010

tour thailand~

long time no update my blog,
until the blog tell me to uodate
go for thailand for 1 week
very interesting and funny
i will keep update the blog
about the trip to thailad day by day!
but wait 1st~
coz line very slow
and i very lazy

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

today exam


today service exam
very nervous~
very scared if the plate drop down thn i die
and i make mocktail
gv chef scold say tat i too slow
but...
service lecturer doesn't mention has timing
so i do my own sweet time
got wrong meh?
and hor the soup
the guest say too salty
so they didn't drink finish
walau
very heavy eh~
but in the end i taste the soup...
really super salty...
i juz drink one spoon thn faint
the one who drink finish the soup i so admire her..

and thn open wine bottle...
last minute say is wood coak
but normally we use rubber coat de leh
wood coak is harder too pull out
and hor
i feel very hard to pull the coak
and keep dancing there(cause cannot pull out
so my head keep swing here and there, my body also...)
and thn suddenly~!
ah~!can pull out jor~so smooth~
but thn
whn pull out, the head of the coak is out la
but the bottom of the coak remain in the bottle
i wash like ''O.O''
and my friend aso showing the eyes like tat
but thn still need to pull out ma, if not the marks will gone
so i try to pull out the remanding one
(ps:it is very hard to pull out a break coak,
coz it will drop into the wine if not careful)
but i was too nervous
so whn the coak comes out
the force apply on the hand tat holding the wine bottle
push down
and my wine bottle hit very strong to the table
and a big BIG sound "bom"
and thn the whole restaurant including the guest, lecturer, other service ppl look at me
OMG~so fish~
luckily the wine bottle doesn't break..
but.....
whn can I stop doing the things tat will always
make me feel very fish leh?
why am I keep doing those stupid act?
T.T....only 笨 can explain me...

and thn hor craving chicken
I nearly cut the 屁股 of the chicken together with the leg
and I can't find the joint of the breast of the chicken to cut
and thn i nervous there
the restaurant got 3 lecturer taking exam
one lecturer beside me keep staring at my chicken,
the chicken tat can't find the joint
and another in front of me
one more at the back lean against the bar and look at me
i was like
"oh my~can't you all just look other place?very 不舒服~and 奇怪ah~"
make me more nervous
but at last i successfully cut the chicken( not very succesful la,
but is the best record i cut)
and i put the vegetable and potatoes at the wrong side
but every body keep follow my wrong way
whn they see how i put
maybe 平常 i am reliable to them
but exam i am nervous
so...
i can't say sorry
who tell u to peep at other ppl
during exam?

and the last~
flambe~

wah~
very scary~
i only do this 2 time in the normal classes
and one of the time is the lecturer help me to pour the alcohol one
and another one is i try on leftover ingredient
so actually half + half i oni
try to flambe for one time
thn it wan me to exam jor,
i need to flambe for 4 pax
each time flambe for 2 pax coz 1 pax 2 pineapple ring
so flambe 2 time
1st time the fire is not so big
very small
i don't 滿意
so the second time i put a little more alcohol to flambe lo
walau~i tell u is a most memorable experince
once i pour in the alcohol
the fire BOM~
straight away comes to my face
and i can feel the fire juz in front of my nose and my glasses
all become 濛濛
luckily my glasses block my eye to direct contract with the fire
and hor i tell u
the fire is more 刺激 thn the movie
movie got the scene the something explore and fire comes out rite?
but the fire tat rush to my face
wah~so geng~
3D 都沒有它厲害~!
thank God and sky !
my eyebrow still there
never burn up~or else i will be like alien for
dunno how long...

but at last i noe i wont fail
coz the lecturer praise me
say "wah~i never saw u so
steady b4~so surpise"
haha~maybe i am the type
of person who is more
nervous more steady
coz nervous ma, my brain all blank
dunno wan to do wad
so my face expression look like nothing will defeat me
haha, last time i violin exam aso like tat
so nervous but the examiner say I play until
so smooth for the song, so nice...
tat time i still think tat person otak rosak
haha, so sorry abt him



Sunday, October 3, 2010

So sad...


Yer~~i wish to have this Bonamana version A ...
last time i wan buy but i think
my friend will buy for me as a birthday present...
so i buy the version C 1st...
結果他們一直拖拖拖...
now i can't find any version A....
so sad...
i wish i can buy it...
but now seems habis stock...
dunno they will produce version A again or not...
since adi got version C

So sad
sad...
i wish i could have this...
but i went to many shop they say this version A adi sold out...
i happy because their album all sold out...
but aso sad becoz i can't buy it now...
dunno where got this version left?
who know can tell me ma?

Sunday, September 19, 2010

終於...



終於破完這個長氣game了啦~~
Final Fantasy XII
玩了2年半...(可能還要多)
都要發霉了...
最後也不要管什麼side mission了
直接破完...
省的那個game長氣到我斷氣....

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

我現在超生氣~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!

walau eh~!
又沒有搞錯?!
每次我問你還了沒有
妳就一直跟我將有有有~!
結果呢?
我開信箱來看
它講我還沒還書~!
我打電話問妳
妳跟我講你還了
還了是什麼意思?
妳說你借給別人
別人講一定會幫你還
結果?!
那個別人又借給別人~!
然後那個別別人說他會在monday還
然後呢?
monday 還現在我的mail box
還是講我沒有還~!
我那麼信任妳
妳就算要借給別人
也要跟我講
但是你從頭到尾
都沒有跟我講~!
妳至少要確定
她們有沒有還吧?
現在跟我擺臭臉
我還聽到旁邊的人講
'反正都遲了,現在講也沒有用啦'
walau~
不是妳妳當然不在乎啦
還有哪個沒有還的人
你是不是男生啊?
不要再給我看到你~!!!!!

氣死~!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

......

this few day mood so low...
feel that i'm useless at all..